This touching letter was written by late Dolapo
GoodGod who was buried in Ireland few weeks
ago.
One’s last words are always revealing and
provide a critical and honest assessment of
one’s life and the most important issues
therein.
Our dear friend, Dolapo who died a few weeks
ago and was finally laid to rest on the 14th of
June in Ireland decided to share her’ last
words on the day she was returned to mother
earth. I woke up this morning and saw this
link in my inbox from Dolapo’s FB account. I
immediately assumed her account had been
compromised but decided to click and what I
read ….well let’s just say summed up neatly
by the author herself. They were Dolapo’s
thoughts on many of the challenges she faced
and as she provided a better glimpse for those
with many unanswered questions.
As you read this, you will fight tears…it is a
sad story but Dolapo’s willingness to share
her story is a classic example of her love and
really an example of turning one’s mess into a
message. Her story tells of her journey,
betrayal, pain, sadness yet it provides hope
and peace as she shares her journey of
applying her faith to real life issues.
Sometimes our best stories are written when
we are done here on earth, I believe Dolapo’s
story is still being written…and I say a big
thank you for everything. We were members of
the same team in CLF, served and worked
together in the ‘special’ Visitation Committee
with Sis. Lawunmi (late)…well you two can
continue what was started many years ago.
We are still here…running our race. We will
see you all when we are done…but for now…
we run. Go ahead rest in the bosom of our
Lord forever.
I bid you farewell………………… ………………………..
I am grateful to God that I will rest in His
bosom and I am more grateful because I
have always wanted this opportunity to
speak my mind even unto death. I guess
you are surprised that even the dead can
air an opinion; in my case I really wanted
to because I knew that God was
preparing a place for me and that is
where I will be. Do not weep for so long
because I found eternal peace in Him.
The very peace that has eroded me in
about twelve years of my God given
years (at the time of this writing I am
forty-one years of age and I have been
married for twelve years).
This is my story………
I am Yetunde nee Olotu as I am fondly
called by my immediate family in Nigeria
but here I am being referred to as
Omodolapo Jagha as named by the love
of my life. Now, I am Dolapo GoodGod ,
the surname I adopted when I realized
that I no longer have a husband who will
be there for me. The very man I should
expect to be the Master of ceremony at
my burial, the man you think would miss
my departure the most but unfortunately
not. I believe my estranged husband is
glad that he is now free from the
bondage called marriage.
Noble Jagha, I hope you feel so happy
now that your prophesy to Maryam
Hassan and other girlfriends of yours
that I will soon die so you can marry
them is now fulfilled. The truth is that my
body may be dead but my hope of glory
in heaven is constant as God lives. I may
not be here again but I am so sure you
will never find anyone to love you the
way I did……
You were my first love, the very man who
deflowered me but turned his back on
me years after that I was not good on
bed (not sexy enough for you), I was not
good at cooking but I managed to learn
and cook your local meal of Starch and
Banga. He said, “I was so paranoid”
because I complained that you are only
comfortable making phone calls in the
car and returning home at midnight. You
finally abandoned me and the children in
December, 2012 after all the mental and
physical abuse I suffered from you. You
could not face the wrath of law as I got a
safety and protection order against you
because I was afraid that you would
eventually take my life.
While you lived with us, you were of no
use, as you were not readily available to
do your matrimonial and fatherly duties.
How painful it was to take the twins to
school walking all the way from Ongar to
Little Pace, sometimes after getting a
chemo. Even when I pleaded with you to
look after the kids when I have
appointments at the hospital you
refused.
Thank God for the Irish government
(HSE) that provided me with home help
(Margaret), my cousin, grandma
Odelade, Sola and S. Bimbo (my
wonderful sisters in church), my friend,
confidant (Gbemi) who stuck to me like
a sister, she is known in all our kids’
school as their guardian because you
were not there. You found solace in your
numerous, “your attraction” as you
referred to the choir leader and probably
your new sizzling romance Sheila
Luxembor whom you kept my kids with
without my consent.
I hope she told you I rang her and made
peace with her when I did no wrong
(Yeah, I did this to secure my heaven).
Hhhhmmmm……….the Lord is my
strength. Oti, how do you feel after
physically and mentally tormenting me?
You can now be happy that “the living
corpse” (as you often referred to me) in
your home has finally gone to be with
God. You no longer have to hit me or
pounce on me anymore.
In death I have forgiven you because I
loved you but I hope you are able to
forgive yourself…….? I cannot forget in a
minute how I felt so let down that I took
to my heels and sought refuge in that
sister’s place and later on at the
women’s refuge. I am sure your defence
is that I died as a cancer patient but I
believe I could live a day longer if you
were there for me…… I went through the
pains of Cancer lonely! Rather than
supporting, you rejected me. Isn’t
marriage meant to be for better or for
worse.….? I hope when I remember how
childish you were for taking the boot you
bought for me and returning the wrist
watch I bought for you I can peacefully
sigh a relief for leaving this cruel world.
You were so mean to me! Oti, you were
really mean to Emmanuella too. How
could you ill-treat your own children
because they are girls? I have all the
horrible text messages you sent to me
documented; psychologically you killed
me before my death. Pastor Jagha, a
man of God! The church has failed in
their duty to help you from fallen, they
have pampered you for doing wrong in
order to save their face and invariably
they have failed me.
Church is meant for sinners irrespective
of their position and as such no one
should be above chastising. I hope after
my demise our father in the Lord would
have enough evidence to correct the
wrong of my beloved husband. No
wonder my so-called husband was able
to trick the church who also lured me to
take off the safety and protection order
and stop me from getting a separation
that I so long for.
On my dying bed I made copies of
telephone bills showing his immoral
communication with a worker in the
church at Athlone but there was still no
sufficient evidence……… The church that
should be a place of refuge became a
place of torment for me. I hope you can
also enjoy your new relationship with
Sheila, I learnt you told some of your
church members that I asked her to look
after my kids because I was sick in the
hospital whereas she keeps malice with
me just because of your sex romp with
her. Oti, you left my children at home for
two days and went to sleep with your
girl friend in Athlone.
You also asked my under-aged children
to travel on bus to Athlone by
themselves while I was on the hospital
bed. I loved you but you failed me and
you know it. The bitter pill that I have to
swallow is the fact that I can no longer
be there for my lovely girls .Their beloved
father despised them so because I could
not make a male child (you claimed that
I was unable to have a boy child
because I did not drink from the
anointing oil which you asked me to
drink and that makes you detest me
too).
I am deeply sorry that I did not drink it;
maybe that would have spared me of
some lashes. Our lovely first daughter at
age twelve said, “Mummy I don’t think I
will get married” This is as a result of the
abuse that my child suffered from our
marriage… If you are a loved one and
you know my daughter, please help me
say to her that marriage is to be enjoyed
and not endured….. I want her to be
married and make me proud! Oti, why do
you always run away from your problems
rather than resolving them? You left
Nigeria because of your involvement in
fraud at the bank which you never
resolved.
As I speak you owe my mother a sum of
one million, two hundred thousand naira
which you have no plan to repay. How
come you had issues even with your own
sibling in the U.K to such an extent that
you poisoned her…..? That is the more
reason why I was so scared for my life.
You are such a difficult person, the
community welfare officer , our GP, Olive
at Hartstown , the Child protection unit
at Finglas and our father in the Lord tried
their best to advise you to no avail. You
were not ready to make me happy.Noble
Jagha, you wanted me dead as soon as
possible.
I still wonder why you refused to come
with me for separation times and again
when I asked that we should part ways. I
know your intent may be to make gains
from my years of labour at Anpost. I
worked so hard to pay the rent, to feed
us and even paid some of your fees to
pursue your MBA. Despite all my effort
you were never satisfied, even on my
sick bed you demanded for money…..I
hope you are happy that you have them
all and you can feed your numerous
girlfriends with them.
I plead with you and I besiege all that
reads this to appeal to you that you do
the following after my demise which is of
utmost importance (I hope you will heed
advice for once).
1. That you may put in trust/fixed
deposit for my daughters all monies
raised from my burial and benefits from
my workplace having paid all expenses
incurred and other personal loan taking
from my friends during my period of
illness. My daughters need to know I
care for them even in my grave.
2. That, I have a will in which I have
named the executors to my will and joint
custodians of our children. The lawyer
will keep you posted in due course,
please adhere!
3. Oti you can also pay any money that
you owe from the monies before the
account is opened.
4. Kindly pay my mother the money you
owe her too before the account is fixed.
5. I want my mother to be a part of my
children’s life, please don’t deprive her.
6. Oti make peace with my family and
friends (stop making enemies out of the
people that helps me).
Oti, it may surprise you but I have
to let you know that I have the
password to your facebook
account and email accounts! How
come I am not on your friend list?
Why did you also refuse to tell me the
cause of your mother’s death? I know
she died of cancer! Hmmmm Oti does
not love me; he could not stay with me in
sickness despite the fact that I loved him
more than my children. Hhmmmm
I hope my mother can forgive me for not
heeding her advice in respect of my
choice of marriage and I pray that God
gives her and my father the fortitude to
bear this irreparable lost.
It is too late to cry when the head is off.
Thank you for not leaving me alone in
my time of troubles and needs my
sisters, thank you sister for going to
Olive’s school, please follow up with
Emmanuel as planned, I don’t want my
children to suffer. I am so worried …..I
am tired.
I don’t want you people to go, don’t
leave me alone. I want someone to sleep
here with me tonight.
Signed.
Omodolapo GoodGod
0 comments:
Post a Comment